bonnie & jason

My first visit to Dr. Snip-snip – *warning* lots of stupid euphemisms and puns

Today was step #1 in eliminating any remnants of manhood that are left after first, getting married, second, having three girls, and third, finally admitting to myself that my dream of racing cars for a living probably isn’t going to happen.

So what does step #1 entail? Well, it’s basically just sitting in a room with a Urologist (Dr. Edward Collins in my case) and listening to him explain the procedure itself, what the risks are, and what to expect post-op. We also talked briefly about the possibility of reversal (in case Bonnie leaves me for Brad Pitt and my new 24 year old supermodel bride wants kids) as well as what the next steps are to get the ball(s) rolling so to speak. Finally, Dr. Collins did a cursory “inspection” to make sure everything was where it was supposed to be and wrapped up with the classic, “turn your head and cough” hernia check routine. (Incidentally, the turning your head part is just so you don’t cough on the doc.)

So what is the procedure? It’s pretty simple. You can read all about it in the link above, but in short, after some local anesthetic, they just make a couple small incisions in your sac, cut the tubes that shuttle your boys up from your balls, and tie them off and tuck them away. By the time they’ve sewed you back up, about 30 minutes will have gone by.

As for potential risks and complications, they’re all rare and not particularly serious. The interesting one happens in about 1 in 10,000 when the cut tubes spontaneously rejoin. Then you’d be back in business without really knowing. Now that’s a scary one!

To mitigate this particular risk, they actually make you provide samples after you’ve had a chance to “flush out the pipes” in order to do a sperm count to confirm you’re actually “shooting blanks.”

I’m expecting to do the deed sometime before the end of the month so rest assured there will be follow up posts. Don’t worry, I won’t be posting any pictures.